Tuesday, December 20, 2005

My Christmas list

The following post appeared on the liberal blog dailykos.com:


We wrote this list one year ago. Since it apparently got "misplaced" in the White House mail room, today we re-submit it. This time, the world is watching...

Dear Santa W. Bush,

This is my Christmas wish list:

A speedy end to the Iraq war
Elimination of the deficit
Clean air and water
A short winter
A strong dollar
Support for the Federal Employment Non-Discrimination Act
Social Security in a festively-wrapped lockbox
Harsh penalties for incompetence
Uniform voting machines with paper trails
Osama's capture
Honest answers
An energy policy that makes sense
A world that doesn't hate us
Fair and balanced news
Basic health care
Stronger corporate oversight
A fundamentalist Christian church that follows the Golden Rule
FDA-approved drugs that don't cause heart attacks
An end to arrogance

And since I have a snowball's chance in hell of getting any of that, I'll settle for a pack of clean underwear. Since I now know you've been spying on me for the last 4 years without a warrant, I'm sure you know my underwear size already. Which reminds me: could you add impeachment to the list?


Bill in Portland Maine

Since I can't place any comments on the actual site, I'd like to present my rebuttal here.

Firstly, George bush cannnot deliver the end of the Iraq war for christmas; the last president to promise an end before christmas, we went into Serbia and are still there!

Secondly, republicans have been trying to eliminate the Deficit fror decades, it's been Democrats who've been piling on the expensive programs that have been keeping the Deficit going for centuries.

Thirdly, if it's clean air and water you want, GET OUT OF SUBURBIA! The air and water in the US is the cleanest it's been in nearly a hundred years! If you aren't getting that fresh air you clearly need for your brain, that's not George Bush's fault.

Fourthly, George bush may be Darth Vader in disguise, but even the dark lord of the sith can't control the weather.

Fifthly, uniform voting machines with paper trails, is, so far as I know, not something the C-in-C has under his control

Sixthly, the only way we're going to capture Osama Bin Laden is invading Iran, which won't endear us to the world, which will hate us no matter what we do!

Seventh, it's the GOVERNMENT, we're never going to have an energy policy that makes sence.

Eighth, the world will always hate us(see six, above).

Ninth, what exactly is your definition of basic health care? because the US has some of the best health care on earth!

Tenth, I know George Bush is the leader of the secret Fascist conspiracy to take over the world, but would you please explain to me how he can force the church to be or do anything?

Eleventh, I am not aware of any special secret super powers George Bush has over the FDA.

and Twelfth, If we are to get rid of arrogance, we'll have to start by Nuking the Frogs, and then getting to work on New York.

Now here's my Christmas list to George Bush:

1. an Iraq-style invasion of Iran, culminating in free elections of Democratic government, and possibly, though not necessarily, Osama's head being placed on a golden platter and presented to the american people.
2. an end put to the institutional racism in our colleges in the form of racial profiling and discrimination against Asians and Caucasions.
3. actual enforcement of free speech in the aforementioned colleges, rather than the Communist-style oppression that allows death threats against conservative students and the burning of republican newsletters.
4. I'd like France Nuked.
5. the institution of racial profiling in our security and law enforcement agencies.
6. I'd like to see the liberation of Cuba, the overthrow of Fidel Castro and his subsequent trial for crimes against humanity.
7. I'd like you to give John Bolton a pay raise.
8. I want to see actual enforcement of the supreme court's ruling that the second amendment is an individual right of american citizens.
9. I want the US government to take a definite stand on the subject of Basque independence.
10. I want France Nuked again(can't be too careful)
11. I want you to take a stand in favor of the continued exstance of Israel.
12. I want to see a Desert Storm-style invasion of Saudi Arabia and immediate action for Democratic elections and Women's Rights.
13. I want immediate investigations into Human Rights violations in the Sudan.
and 14. I want France Nuked one more time.


Blogger Edward York said...

Great post. especially the parts about nuking france

Tuesday, December 20, 2005 6:48:00 PM  
Blogger wild bill said...

Thanks. Whats your christmas list?

Wednesday, December 21, 2005 9:28:00 AM  

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